Dumb Ways to be Loved

Have you heard of the video "Dumb Ways to Die" that went viral  a couple of years ago?

It was a public service announcement campaign by Metro Trains in Australia to promote rail safety. The campaign video went viral through sharing and social media since it was released in November 2012. The campaign received some criticism on its "morbidness" as the ad reinforces deadly trains as a possible suicide method.  To date, it has spawned at least 85 video parodies.

For the spirit of fun, which I think is one of the elements of the video that one will easily notice, I wrote a poem (that can one can sing along with the original video) dedicated to all guys out there who are still in the process of unlocking the art of being loved. I am no love expert but I have some tips that have worked for me that I want to share.

DUMB WAYS TO BE LOVED

(De) Composed by Richard Mamuyac

Take time to fix your hair
Buy a Schick and shave your beard
Ask someone out for a date
And don’t forget to brush your teeth

Chorus:
Dumb ways to be loved
So many dumb ways to be loved
Dumb ways to be loved
So many dumb ways to be loved

Check your crush but do not stalk
Where she study or go to work
Teach yourself how to say Hi
Without freezing in front of sweetie pie

(Repeat Chorus)

Invite an available girl in sight
Take her home for a ride
Take your helmet off but don’t shove on her face
Let her use it and say “I’ll take you to a safe place”

(Repeat Chorus)

Keep a Cocker Spaniel as a pet
Post a selfie photo on the Internet
Or on Youtube, sing a tune or two
Choose the songs with words like “I love you”

(Repeat Chorus)

Dress up and act cool even it’s summer season
Buy flowers ‘coz she deserve it and that’s the reason
Stand on the edge of table of your loved one
Try to smile and relax while your finger crossing
Recite the sweet nothings you’ve been practicing

Pop the question, “Would it be possible for you to love me?”

The dumbest ways to be loved
The dumbest ways to be loved
The dumbest ways to be loved
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to be loved
be loved be loved be loved

Be astig but not maangas. Be confident and stop being torpe. A message from Astig Machismis.